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Friday, September 14, 2012

He's leaving home

Just yesterday I gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. 8lbs 7 oz. 22 inches long all his fingers and toes. A beautiful healthy baby. Holy shit did he blindside me. I never thought I could love anything as I much as I did that baby boy. Well guess what? Said baby boy is 20 years old and moving out. Away from home. I've had good and bad days since he told me he's leaving. I'm sad alot.
Life is changing again after 20 years.
20 years of taking care of him. Feeding, clothing, bathing...wait I stopped that when he was toddler.
That's the wine talking.
I look around and see so many friends in the midst of it all and how frazzled they all look.
The baby years: When all you do is look at this thing you and your hubby made and wonder at the miracle of it all. They are totally dependent on you.
The toddler years: When they take their first step away from you and become their own little person the first time they say no.
The child years: The most fun years where everything they do is done with such joy
The tween years: The aforementioned joy is now DRAMA at every waking moment. You start thinking why did I become pregnant?
The teen years: I was lucky, he was a great teenager. But for the rest of you... You really start worrying, who is this satan's spawn I gave birth to?
And then just like that, they leave. No warning at all.
"Mom, it's time for me to go"
7 words that broke my heart, sniff
I guess this is what we're really supposed to do as parents.
Push them out of the nest and see them fly. I really don't know how birds do it. I bet when no one is looking there's a group of canaries drinking out of a spiked water fountain lamenting the loss of their chick.
Look I KNOW it's the right thing but it's like one day we were driving along at this fast clip and suddenly screeched to a halt.
I DON'T WANNA STOP MOTHERING!!! I like it too much. Everything about it. The dirty faces, the spills, the fights, the tears, the birthday parties, the house full of noisy kids after a little league game. I could go on but you get my point.
So to my son Layne, the light of my world, go out and soar kid, show 'em what you're made of. I'm already so proud of you.
Kick ass, be safe and don't forget to call your mom sometimes.