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Thursday, February 16, 2012

And now he's 20

I have always blogged about my son's birthdays. Something about the passing of another year with him makes me reevaluate my own life. Fuck New Years, here's when I reassess. I have a child now who is in his third decade and yet I still look at him as a little boy. Just yesterday he was reaching for me, now I'm reaching for him. How did this happen? Oh yeah, I blinked.
A good friend of mine just had a baby and while I'm thrilled for her I realized THAT part of my life is over.
All the boo-boos, all the little league games, all the school projects gone, just like that. No warning at all. I loved being "that mom". The one who had the kids over, who ran the school functions, who baked the brownies. God I loved making brownies.
I have had to readjust my life again. And just like a whiny toddler, I don't wanna. I was so wrapped up in my son's life that I never prepared for the inevitable. He's an adult, he has his own life. It takes every power of my being not to hold onto to his leg as he leaves every day to live his life. I'm lucky, at the moment he is still living at home but it's only a matter of time before he's on his own. So to my friend who just had a baby and all my friends with little ones, hold em tight but loosen your grip slowly. That way it may not hurt as bad. And when it eventually happens to you, come on over, I'll make brownies.