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Monday, January 02, 2012

So Long 2011 and Good Riddance! By Carole Montgomery AKA NationalMOM

It’s almost New Year’s and it’s been a challenging year to say the least. New
year’s eve is the night we are so hopeful, so full of not knowing what is going to kick our
ass in the coming year. And then there are the amateur drunks, LOTS OF THEM
coupled with the billion tourists who MUST SEE THE BALL DROP. Hey midwesterners,
it’s a fuckin glass ball. I live in midtown Manhattan with a direct view of the ball drop. It’s
gotten so bad, they start closing off my street to traffic at 6 PM. My husband and I flee
town faster than Lindsay Lohan dropped her clothes for Playboy. AND we can handle
our alcohol.
I always work NYE with one stipulation. I am offstage BEFORE midnight.
Nothing is worse then counting down to the new year holding a cheap noisemaker
and a cheaper glass of champagne onstage while trying to do your act. Especially if
you’re in the middle of it when the clock strikes twelve. I might as well stand there
naked to get their attention at that point and really, I don’t want to do that to anyone!
Then all hell breaks lose, “We MUST have a good time or 2012 will suck!” is
the mantra. The drinking toasts begin and go on and on. Kissing someone as the ball
drops is a beautiful thing. That said, kissing the porcelain god should NOT be one of
your resolutions.
And lo and behold, the new year begins. “This will be a better year”
becomes the rallying cry. “I’m gonna change, lose weight, stop smoking”. Somewhere
around January 5 we go back to who we were just a scant week ago. Cause in the end,
we’re just human. And NYE is just another day.

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